Gather round folks, because today marks the beginning of a new weekly segment called “Question of the Week.” You probably know the drill by this point, but for the sake of introductions: Every week I’m going to pose a question to the community, and the best responses will end up right here. A new question will be asked every Monday, and the results will be compiled and posted on Thursdays. Some quick housecleaning before we begin: 1) Some of these responses may contain *spoilers* to various games, so READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. 2) I will censor any content I decide to include within the article, but any outside links provided to pictures or videos as references are potentially NSFW.
Alright, with that in mind, let’s get things rolling. To kick off the new segment, I asked “What is the funniest line you’ve ever heard in a video game?” These are but a few of the top responses I received (in no particular order):
1) “Alright. Looks like they expect me to sit on their fancy chair.” -Booker Dewitt, Bioshock Infinite (submitted by Julio Dias)
2) “…” -Gordon Freeman, Half-Life (submitted by Angelo Garcia)
3) “Clickity f@*!, how may I serve you?” -Cluckin’Bell waiter, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (submitted by Taggart Elliott)
4) “I’m McCullin. Two rules. Rule one: You’re no good to me dead. Rule Two: [pause] Uh… Ah, what difference does it make. You’re all probably end up dead anyway.” -Frank McCullin, Call of Duty 3 (submitted by Jack Carver)
5) “I HAVE FURY!” -Fawful, Mario & Luigi: Bowser’s Inside Story (submitted by Oyin K Ololade)
6) “Sorry, am I late?”- Link, The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword (submitted by Captain L)
7) “And this battle shall be the delicious mustard on that bread! The mustard of your doom!” -Fawful, Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga (submitted by David Guthrie)
8) “I’m just gonna go ahead and cloak now. You can’t hear me crying if I cloak! (sobbing)” -Claptrap, Borderlands 2 (submitted by Joe Sylvester)
9) “It sounds like a cat having sex with a harmonica, and not the consensual kind!” -Hotspur, Shadows of the Damned (submitted by A. Andrew Mulligan)
10) “I’m racking my brain trying to think of a name for that diamond pony I bought. I was gonna call it ‘piss-for-brains’ in honor of you, but that just feels immature. Maybe… “Butt Stallion”? Nah, that’s even worse. Tell you what, I’ll give it some more thought.”
12) “Together, we shall free Pandora! I will lead you into battle! I will destroy Handsome Jack with my bare hands! I will — STAIRS?!? NOOOOOOOOOO!” -Claptrap, Borderlands 2 (submitted by Lucas De Jesus Matias)
Honorable Mentions: The Honorable Mentions section is where I’ll include some of the more popular responses that were submitted so many times I can’t credit everyone who participated. These lines are either some of the most popular within the community, or are already established memes that folks have assuredly heard before.
“X-Men! Welcome… to Die!” -Magneto, X-Men: The Arcade Game
“It’s dangerous to go alone. Take this!” -Old Man, The Legend of Zelda
“Coming up next, the most mind-numbing thing since the lobotomy: Entertaining America” -Talk Radio WCTR, GTA: San Andreas
“All your base are belong to us.” -CATS Leader, Zero Wing
And of course…
“I AM ERROR” -Error, Zelda II: The Adventure of Link
Dealer’s Choice: I’ll conclude each week’s segment with my personal answer to the QOTW. This week was a tough one, but of all the funny lines I’ve heard throughout my gaming career, there’s one quotable line I always find myself coming back to. This quote in particular makes me bust a gut every time I hear it, and can even get me while I’m alone as it discretely worms its way into my mind.
“Sir, don’t tell me how to do my job. I don’t come over to your cave and teach you how to bang rocks together, do I?” –Pollyx Omnitech Space Radio Ad, Ratchet & Clank Future: A Crack in Time.
Here are the ground rules for participants: Answers must include proper attribution. That means, make sure to include who said the line, as well as what game it’s from. Citation must be provided in order to be considered. Providing video links to the quote is much appreciated, but not mandatory. In order to find out what each week’s question will be, make sure to add me to your Google+ circles or follow me on Twitter. Additionally, you can find each week’s question inside the Gaming community.
Did your favorite funny line make the cut? If not, share your funniest gaming quote down in the comments section, and don’t forget to like IGXPro on Facebook, follow us on Twitter, or give us the ‘ol +1 on Google+. Thanks to everyone who participated! Be sure to check the proper channels on Monday for next week’s Question of the Week.