In case you missed my first article, this is a blog of sorts that will take you through my journey of playing my first Xbox Game: Arkham City. If you haven’t played the game yet and didn’t want the game spoiled for you, please stop reading right here.
So I picked up the controller again and this is what I realized: I had actually only completed 0% of the actually game, 3 % of the main story. So I had to pat myself on the back there, I am going to be taking an excruciating amount of time to finish this game. Yippee.
I came right back into trying to find the other ringing phone, one of Victor Zsasz’s sick ploys to get Batman to play with him. In 2 minutes, I had to find the other ringing phone in Arkham City. So I tried and failed. And failed. It would seem as though third time is a charm, since I managed to make it within that short time frame. Pat myself on the back for that one.
So I continued on to find the Joker’s radio signal, since that was the original mission. It took me about ten minutes to figure it out, which is an accomplishment for me. I also didn’t die, so yay! I go into the building where I wander around some more until I find Harley. She locks me in this tiny room with a lot of bad guys to take down, and I have to rescue Dr Stacy Baker. I beat them, I wander around, and I find one of the Riddler’s trophies! I can’t specify where I found it, but the bottom of the screen kept blinking and told me to turn on my detective mode. One thing led to another, and tada! I go back into the Loading Bay where the entrance to the Joker’s main entrance is and figure out I have to use my REC (Remote Electric Charge) to charge up this giant metal machine that will break the door for me. Finally, things are going my way.
I grapple and climb up and SLAM. This giant clown monstrosity approaches me and Harley introduces us:
“Meet Mister Hammer. He is going to teach you some manners”. My first boss. Let the excitement begin.
Mister Hammer, while intimidating, large, and powerful, only has one arm and is incredibly slow. I say this to you now, but it took me awhile to figure this out. The bottom my screen kept telling me to use REC on Mister Hammer, but there were a lot of other hooligans around him and I kept directing it to the wrong guy. Needless to say, I failed. And failed. And failed. I threw the controller on the ground in anger and was about to turn off the Xbox to call it a night.
Then, Nick (our Editor-in-Chief) walked into the room and asked how my game play was going. I grumbled and told him about the terrible time I was having. With this being said, I gave him the controller and told him to give it a try. So he did. So he beat down Mr. Hammer, not a big deal.
Ego bruised and eyes glaring, I continued playing the game. I am choosing to act like I killed my first boss all on my own, with no help thank you very much. I got this.
I grapple up and into the Joker’s office, where Harley is crying and it’s revealed that the Joker is dead. This took me back to Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker, when *spoiler alert*, the Joker dies. It was sad and I was really going to be angry if it turned out that this is not only Mark Hamill’s last job of being the Joker, but it would have only been for the first 10% of the game. Well, it was a trap. I probably should have seen that.
Joker is infected with something that is just killing him. And he’s injected Batman with it. Shit.
To save myself, I have to find the cure, and to find the cure, I have to track down Mr. Freeze. Angry that I have to leave the Joker again, I leave the building and go to find Mr. Freeze. My radar is now set to find the coldest location in Arkham City because obviously, that is where Mr. Freeze would be hanging out at.
On a side note, I would like to say that Batman makes me feel really smart. Like, hey, I am going to calibrate this super complicating radar or trajectory triangulation machine and all you have to do it find the bullets, or try to keep moving around and watch the number on the upper right corner of the screen go down. Thank you Batman for my self esteem.
I find where he should be, but I get distracted again. The side mission with Victor Zsasz haunts me as I hear the ringing of the phone. Being the special masochistic individual I am, I pick up the phone. I have 2:30 minutes to find the other ringing phone in Arkham City, or the hostage dies. So I am off. And I fail. And I fail. And I, wait, I almost… Nope, that is definitely failure again.
3% of the whole game is complete. I hope you guys will stick around while I continue to abuse myself and fail miserably for the next month or so. I also apologize that this update took so long to post, after my first failed attempt at playing this game, I was too scared to even look in the general direction of the Xbox. It just mocks me.